• Discover why most team issues are actually self-leadership gaps in disguise
• Understand the difference between real self-leadership and its common imposters
• Recognise the moments where your mindset, not your team, is the real bottleneck
One of the most common refrains I hear from senior leaders is this:
As I mentioned in a recent blog, I've heard this a hundred times - and almost every time, it's not a team problem. It's a self-leadership problem.
Leaders often misdiagnose team dysfunction. What feels like a failure to take ownership, disengagement, or lack of initiative is often not a moral failing or capability issue. It's a self-leadership gap.
In both your team, and in you.
Now it's possible that your team lacks initiative, is reactive and is waiting to be told what to do because they're lazy or incapable.
In my experience though, 80% of what's showing up in this situation is about individual self-leadership. Only 20% is about how the team is led or due to factors outside the team's control.
What is self-leadership?
Self-leadership is one aspect of good leadership. It reflects your ability to lead yourself before you lead others. It's your capacity to apply everything you know about coaching others to coach yourself.
It means taking ownership of your mindset, behaviour, and impact without needing constant direction, validation or oversight.
The key to effective self-leadership is being able to have the courage to sit in discomfort, getting comfortable with the idea that things might go wrong, developing the confidence that if things go wrong, even if someone else is responsible for the mistake, that you have the resilience to survive them.
The value of self-leadership
Being an effective self-leader is not easy, especially for those of us raised by Baby Boomer parents who themselves weren't taught the skills of self-reflection.
However, in my experience it's not just the key to creating a thriving workplace culture, it's the key to happiness in almost every aspect of your life. If I were to give the CFOs in my CFO Boardroom program one skill it would be this.
The beauty of self-leadership is that it is completely within your control. We have no say in the things that go on around us. We only have power over how we respond to them.
One of the most powerful aspects of self-leadership is that it makes you reflect on the vulnerabilities and biases you're bringing to the table. It forces you to at least confront how much of the problem lies in your perspective of the situation and what is actually a circumstance outside your control, an addressable skills gap in you or your team or a self-leadership problem in someone else.
What self-leadership is not
Decisiveness: Senior leaders often confuse decisiveness with self-leadership. But decisiveness without thoughtfulness can lead to bad decisions, just made quickly. Decisiveness is a great quality, only when paired with the capacity for reflection.
Relentless ownership to the point of martyrdom: Whilst the ultimate litmus test of a leader who is practising self leadership is their willingness to take accountability for mistakes or failed experiments made in the pursuit of excellence, this doesn't mean shouldering all the responsibility yourself, shouldering responsibility for things which are simply a matter of circumstance or are genuinely the result of the misconduct of another person. Self-leadership involves healthy boundaries and building your capacity for trust in others. It does not mean rescuing everyone else from the consequences of their actions at your own expense.
High Standards: Like decisiveness and accountability, high standards are certainly a great thing to have. However the need for control and insisting on being across everything in order to maintain quality is not. A key aspect of self-leadership is having the trust in yourself and others that you can pivot and recover from mistakes.
Good self-leaders enable good self-leadership in others. They don't achieve excellence through domination or control.
Spotting a self-leadership problem in yourself
Self-leadership isn't a fixed trait. It fluctuates, especially during times of stress or pressure. It's important not to berate yourself or feel shame or guilt when you don't always live up to your own standards of leadership.
However to help you determine whether you have a team problem or a self-leadership problem, here are some red flags that it's time to look inward:
• You're avoiding difficult conversations, hoping that the issue will resolve itself
• You're micromanaging willing and capable staff, but because you're uncomfortable letting go
• You find yourself blaming the team, rather than reflecting on what you've enabled, modelled or neglected to effectively delegate
These are all common (and very human) responses to stress. But they're also signs that in order to solve your problem, all you need to do is look in the mirror.
Look out for next week's blog, in which I detail how leaders can support their teams individually on their own self-leadership journey.
And the next time you feel yourself bristling at your team, ask yourself:
"Do I have a team problem or a self-leadership problem?" and "What story am I telling myself that lets me off the hook here?"
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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